I Want to Keep Growing Up Until the Day I Die

In 1964 Bob Dylan wrote and recorded a song called My Back Pages. I was just a little kid then, but its chorus has haunted me ever since the age of my body has become significantly older than the person I feel like inside.

He wrote – “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”

I’m not sure exactly what Dylan meant by the song (the verses are really hard to understand!). But for me, when I look back on my life I see that in many ways when I was “young in years” I thought I had all the answers. Everything was black and white. I was all grown up.

I can remember always wanting to be open to learning new things, but to be honest, I think I thought that meant simply learning more ways to live out what I already knew.

Now I realize that I still had – and have – so much more to learn.

As Time Goes By

In many ways, as I’ve grown over the years in my understanding of who God is and what it means to walk with Him, I’ve become more of a child of God. And I think that’s exactly what God wants us to be.

Yes, I know God wants us to grow to maturity in Christ. To be stronger and more steady and grounded in our faith. But as we do that, I think we will also realize more and more how dependent we are on Him. We’ll gain a deeper understanding of how simple our walk with Him is really meant to be:

centering our lives on our relationship with Him and not on rules or a form of religion
trusting Him and following His leading one day at a time
depending on His strength & wisdom instead of our own

… like a child.

It’s a Life-Long Journey

Over the years I have come to realize more and more that God is God and I am not. I still have so much to learn. And I want to be open to all God has to teach me, until the day I die. And I am excited to learn the things that I don’t even know I don’t know yet!

by Bernice Gudgel