You Need to Be Over and Done with the Life That’s Past

If you’re married or thinking about getting married, you need an “over and done” commitment if you want your marriage to succeed. You must be over and done with your former single life and totally committed to “till death do us part.”

That’s a commitment Tom failed to make. And it really messed up his life.

Leaving the Single Life Behind
Leaving the Single Life Behind

I had the privilege of performing Tom and Sue’s wedding. They were a great couple to work with. They said they were madly in love with each other and the Lord. Both told me they were done dating and ready “to have and to hold” each other for the rest of their lives.

But signs of trouble appeared quickly, first on their honeymoon and then a couple weeks after their honeymoon.

“I caught him looking at cute girls while we were walking around in Hawaii,” Sue told me. “Then the worst happened. A couple weeks after our honeymoon, I caught him in the garage looking at naked women on his computer.”

It’s one thing to say you’re over and done with your former life; it’s another thing to actually be over and done with it.

12 Things to Leave Behind

Paul was straight up with the church at Colosse when he commanded them to “put to death” and “to rid themselves of” their former life. Their life of sin. He told them they needed to intentionally be done with the dirty dozen (see Colossians 3:5-11):

  1. Sexual immorality – sex outside of marriage
  2. Impurity – filthy thoughts
  3. Lust – sensual looking
  4. Evil desire – to have what God forbids
  5. Greed – selfish desire, a self-serving compulsion for more
  6. Anger – unresolved hatred
  7. Rage – explosive uncontrolled anger
  8. Malice – calculated vengeance
  9. Slander – vicious words that abuse others
  10. Filthy language – putrid, foul, rotten, repulsive words
  11. Lying – the intent to deceive
  12. Prejudice – a biased or hostile attitude toward various people

Paul goes on to say that these are the kind of sins that bring God’s wrath. It’s not surprising. All twelve will destroy our relationship with God and each other. Is it no wonder Paul tells this church he loves to kill these things and rid themselves of them? He wants them to get past these devastating sins and get on with their new life in Christ.

Choosing to Change

At the outset of counseling sessions, Dr. Phil often asks: “Do you really want to make a change?” That’s a great question.

Do you? Are you over and done with your former life. Ready to give it up? To move on? If you’re a Christ follower, you should be. You’re His bride. You made a “to have and to hold” forever commitment to Him.

Are you living like it?

Just like in a marriage, the depth of intimacy you are enjoying in your relationship with the Lord today is directly connected to the depth of the “over and done” commitment you’re living out.

by Dave Gudgel

Related Post: A Marriage & Family Covenant